Maybe they have a good show recommendation, or maybe they’re enjoying a comfort binge that you can both be nostalgic about. Ultimately, the goal of identifying other ways to say how are you is to replicate the feel of hanging out in person and genuinely connecting. Also, are YOU okay? Get it daily. In response, friend A conforms with the present perfect progressive tense by saying, I’ve been doing well. Think about the last few times someone asked “How are you?”. Take care. She gets most of her inspiration for the blog while on the run, and if you ever need to find her, she’s probably in Central Park. This is a great alternative to “how are you?” for your friend who is so totally stressed out by this new normal. Plus 10 things you can do right now as part of your circle of influence to create rejuvenation, healing, and empowerment for you, others, and your community. I want to know, how are you doing, really? Do that now and be completely honest with yourself. at least you are doing that, and that is very important! The answer most people are going to give here is some version of “I’m good”. Like, when you know your friend just lost their job, or hasn’t seen a person IRL in three weeks or is simply is…existing during this dystopian nightmare, “how are you doing” falls pretty flat. The answer you give when someone asks how you’re doing is usually an automatic, standard response. The server at the restaurant, the cashier at the store, your colleague you pass on your way to your desk. Let’s all be honest, things are not okay in this world right now. Express how you are feeling. These are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of their current life experiences. I’m pretty standard right now. and go about your day. Next question, please. The only things that should be black and white are zebras and cookies. Todd - March 22, … If you know that you are one-of-a-kind, you can’t really do the same old routine. Rachel is a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness. See how a friend has been stretching out, and maybe you can plan a workout together. Why? Sometimes you fall in the middle, and it’s beneficial to know that. How are they occupying their vortex of time? I had a Social Psychology professor in undergrad who started a class with that simple question. But let’s not lie to each other. Because more often than not, we’re not really asking. There’s really only one correct answer to “How are you?” Do you know what it is? He asked us how we were all doing, and in unison, everyone gave the standard “Good” answer. “It makes us hesitate to reach out, since, for the most part, we’re all dealing with the same stressors and fears. Not what you tell everyone (i.e. But instead of moving on, he said, “No. Most people took pause because they genuinely didn’t know. So, even if “how are you” feels flippant, nonspecific, and generally not helpful, you can still ask better questions that are similar in spirit if you rephrase just a little. Usually the answer is no, unless it’s limiting you in some way. It’s better to solve problems before they’re a crisis, right? Telling this person they’ve … © 2021 Well+Good LLC. These are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of their current life experiences. By. We need you at your best! Here, it actually sounds natural to use the adverb well because it’s modifying the verb to do, not the verb to be. Though almost certainly used in colloquial speech earlier, the salutation first appears in print in the 1940s and spreads in the 1970s.In the late 20th century, How you doing was popularly associated with New Yorkers of Italian descent—and pronounced more like how YOO dooin. And if you’re fatigued with talking about COVID-19 all the time, here are few ways to positively change the conversation. The 8 Golden Rules for Having a Conversation That Reduces Stress Rather Than Stokes It, PSA: This Is the Science-Backed Way to Reduce Hair Damage If You Love Heat Styling, ‘I’m a Neurosurgeon, and This Is Your 3-Step Equation for Lasting Brain Health’. After sunshine, a good listen, caffeine, a good breakfast, and some hugs from Dale, I feel a lot better. I was doing fine until you asked that. Greeting our colleagues with "How are you?" What do you want? But what do we really know about this ubiquitous phrase? “How are you doing right now?” That’s the question I’ve been defaulting to on the phone, over text, and over Zoom chats during this time of ballooning, Covid-19-fueled communications. Do you feel anxiety? It’s very easy to have no idea what the real one actually is. yields standard responses: Busy, Fine, Good. If you're new to a company and leading a … No one quite knew what to say, and not just because his follow up question was outside of the norms we were used to. HOW ARE YOU DOING? Well? Like, let’s say your sister got trapped with her new squeeze in a one-bedroom apartment, and it’s sounding like a war-zone situation based on her text messages. Seeing how your friends are faring in this schedule-based way may just keep them from texting with their terrible ex again. “These days, conversations can feel awkward because there’s this looming backdrop of how not normal our lives are now,” says relationship therapist Debra Roberts, LCSW, author of The Relationship Protocol: How to Talk, Defuse, and Build Healthier Relationships. I’ve been thinking about you lately. Not so well; So far, so good! I could really go for a massage, now that you asked. “How are you really doing?” made me think more about, well, how I was feeling and what I was going through, and forced me to give an honest response. It’s better to know that you’ve been feeling tired for the last couple of days before you’re so sleep deprived that you get sick. Don’t worry, you’re not a bad person for falling under the “I don’t actually want to hear how your boss is the worst for the next five minutes” category. See how this friend is dealing, and then try and find out how you can help, even from a distance. If you don’t have any energy, use this word. Are You Growing to Know Who Jesus Better and Who He is? This one works well if you’re checking in on someone who’s quarantining with one or multiple other people. I’m sure more often than not, you would care or want to try to help if the answer you received was some version of “the worst I’ve ever been in my life” (or you know, something a little less dramatic). Going great. Everyone paused. Do you actually care? You’ll hear this ALL the time! Glad we agree. My hope is that listeners will be able to empathize with my guests in order to gain new perspectives of compassion. This episode is dedicated to anyone who struggles with mental health. Respond by saying, “Actually, I’ve been feeling…” or “You know, I have been feeling…” If you are feeling depressed or going through a tough time, you could also mention that so that your loved ones can help you.. For example, you may respond, “Actually, I’ve been feeling a little down lately. Like you, but better. So, if you know you need to talk or vent, say that upfront.”, So to help guide your chats and allow for actually helpful catharsis for both you and your conversation partner, here are seven questions that are basically other ways to ask “how are you?”, Ask this to your single friends who are isolating in order to get a feel for how their day might look. Author: Rachel. To me, growing up in the South, this is what a normal interaction looked like, but one day, I began to realize that if we really go beyond our mediocre how are yours, then we could really, truly, get to know not only strangers that we pass on the street but our closest friends as well. Very often, we’re expecting a quick answer so we can move on. Episode 34 of the Viva Wellness Podcast is LIVE! Do you give the impression that you really want to know how this person is? 3. There are definitely times when you ask “How are you?” that you’d be genuinely annoyed if in response, the person launched into a long explanation of exactly why things were or were not so great. Write smarter with our new features for professionals. But the other side of always giving that automatic answer of “I’m good!”? Also on my walk, I stopped at Lella Alimentari for a cappuccino and frittata. How are you doing? 7. CA Do Not Sell My Personal Information     Sitemap redirect. Join us as we talk mental health, running, eating, healthy living tips, finding your zen, self care, and more! Start in the morning. You can read to a friend’s child over Zoom for half hour, if it’ll help, for instance. 5. Okay – Here’s another quick, neutral answer like “fine” or … Episode 32 of The Viva Wellness Podcast is LIVE. So, you can ask this question to make that active one-on-one time to see, well, how someone is doing, authentically. How you doing is a shortened form of the longer, more formal greeting how are you doing. Psalm 142:4 I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul. When a friend asked if I was taking care of myself, I found it to be the sweetest way to check in. You don’t even have to answer me. “When you’re checking in and asking the other person a question, be sure to listen to their answer,” says Roberts. So, how ARE you actually doing? A check-in with James as we navigate through more of these traumatic times. But in light of the lack of human connection we’re experiencing as we abide by social-distancing guidelines to slow the spread of COVID-19 and general worries about how this pandemic will affect us and our loved ones, we’re doing more regular check-ins with our circles than ever. Keeping things open-ended versus just asking a yes-or-no “are you taking care of yourself” will give you more of a roadmap for how to follow-up their answer. They feel better after you talk, less alone, and perhaps hopeful. But, don’t let that stop you: Reach out, check in, say hi, and let the people you care about know that you’re thinking of them.”. “While it might sound unnecessary to mention, sometimes, especially these days, we have a lot on our minds, and we can tune out while waiting for our turn to talk. It is only natural that you will want a quirky response other than the old and bold “I’m fine, thank you.” If you want to show off how unique and witty you are, these responses are good to go with. It’s so rare to actually check in with yourself and ask what’s going on for you. If any of these red flags are present, we recommend proceeding with caution. You know the drill, walk past someone on the street, smile and ask, "how are you?" What’d you say? Are there other ways to say how are you, though, that are more helpful and less tone deaf? The natural response to this question, at least in the United States, is a simple “good” or “fine” followed by a reciprocation of the same greeting. It’s better to know that you’ve been feeling more anxious than usual before something sets you off into a full blown anxiety attack. 4. “What are you doing today?” Ask this to your single friends who are isolating in order … I’d say I’m a ___ out of 10. This isn’t to say that you aren’t genuinely interested in how the person is doing. While "pretty good," and "OK" are quick answers, experts say finding out how you're really doing will help in the long run. I am here to have honest conversations with people around the world. and How are you doing? Good. You … Let's face facts — our mental, emotional, and physical states belong to us. We’re all there sometimes. How are you REALLY?”. Maybe this is someone wrapping up coursework for their master’s degree at home, despite having no graduation to walk in; or maybe it’s someone who can’t set WFH boundaries with themselves, let alone the kids they’re trying to homeschool. If you beleive you have found a legitimate clound mining company, you can really make sure by putting it to the test. Writing Tips Grammar Trends Inspiration. How are you … 6. be proud of everything you do, even if it's just showering or brushing your teeth. Optimistic? After that initial “hi,” though, there’s often an awkward lull. Things don’t have to be good just because nothing terrible is happening. Happy and content, thank you. With so many dusting off their home yoga mat to balance their couch time, many are finding themselves already fatigued by the same vinaya videos they’ve been watching for weeks on end now. “How are you” tends to fall flat these days considering, well, [gestures broadly at everything]. Similarly, How are you? Let's try our best to truly ask/answer this question more often. Somewhere between doing better and best. Armed and ready for anything! think about your dream future often, you will not only be subconsciously manifesting it, but you will feel calm, content, and happy Much better now that you’re here with me. How Are You Really Doing. 6. James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. I mean a real true answer. It’s like we have two modes: functioning and non-functioning. She gets most of her inspiration for the blog while on the run, and if you ever need to find her, she’s probably in Central Park. If you are not okay, it is okay to admit it, it’s just you and God. Switching gears a bit, Bon Appetit videos are back. (I really want to know how you’re doing so please let me know!). Read our Privacy Policy and Terms and Conditions. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Skype (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window), How ABC’s Thursday Night Line-up Has Made My Life Better. These are conversations built to encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold as a result of their current life experiences. I’m blessed and highly favored; I’m fine) but how are you really doing? Product Company. Believe it or not, most people actually do want to know more about others, especially if they both work at the same company. NOW, TELL THE TRUTH, HOW ARE YOU REALLY DOING? What’s your body feeling like? Trust me, you do not want to know. A blog about all things wellness to help you find what works for you, brought to you by Rachel and Jor-El of Viva Wellness. basically mean the same thing and are both commonly used. Spoiler, the answer is no. Tired? Rachel is a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness. You ask. Listen to How Are You Doing, Really? It's basically guesswork. Here are some more words you might use to describe how you’re really feeling when talking with these closer friends: Exhausted – When you’re really tired. It’s just a part of our social norms. 10. 1. Much better now that you are with me. The innocuous “How are you?” at the start of a conversation—which is normally understood in American culture to be a polite way of expressing concern for a person’s well-being, and to … 7. remember your goals. Everybody asks “How you doing today?” And if you’ve noticed, nobody really answers. Now ask yourself – was that always true? If not, please Consider Dumping the False Teacher You Currently Sit Under and also Truly and Personally Seeking the LORD. If she’s not running, you’ll find her planning the next time she’s going to eat, exploring all things wellness in NYC, or raising her stress level by watching her sports teams. Usually, neither person is anything but “pretty good” these days, ... You really can't ever get rid of it. 2. NOTE: the following are taken largely from Puppet's Cloud Mining 101 reddit post, which is a great supplement to this post. Our editors independently select these products. Maybe you didn’t sleep well or worked outside all day. What they're actually doing is trying to be the first miner to come up with a 64-digit hexadecimal number (a "hash") that is less than or equal to the target hash. All rights reserved. The question—and its popular variation, “How are you doing?”—appears in emails from strangers and acquaintances and in polite face-to-face conversation. We have a few ways to heal yourself from the pandemic blues. How are You Really Doing? remember where you want to be in 5 years, 10 years. Functioning basically equals good, and non-functioning is bad. ", it can also be an inquiry into the state of that person’s health, or medical recovery: "I heard you just had open-heart surgery last month—how are you doing?" Excited? I could really go for a massage. Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission. What emotions are you experiencing? But is that the standard we have to live by? How are you doing? I want to know, how are you doing, really? Before you talk about how your co-worker has an advantage over you… Before you start any of that whining and crying… Ask yourself… Are you REALLY doing your best at your job? It starts by simply asking: “How are you really doing?” Most of the time you’ll find that someone is just happy that you cared enough to ask so they feel free to vent about their bad day — or bad month or year. Everyone pretty much agreed that this was the first time, at least that day, that any of us were actually considering a real answer to that question. Well enough to chat with you if you wish to. Well+Good decodes and demystifies what it means to live a well life, inside and out. Focus on how your loved ones are keeping busy and entertaining themselves, and let the conversation unfold from there. We have come to use this expression so often in all of the above situations that … Because really, what can you say? I am here to have honest conversations with people around the world. 9. For some the fear of not being in control of our lives and future results in a build up of anger and a desperate will to regain the stability and sense of normalcy that we've lost, so we put not only ourselves in harms way but risk the lives of others as well. Like a pig in a butcher shop. Personality Abuse My hope is that listeners will be able to empathize with my guests in order to gain new perspectives of compassion. This question checks in on the status of the whole household. as we abide by social-distancing guidelines, general worries about how this pandemic will affect us, The Relationship Protocol: How to Talk, Defuse, and Build Healthier Relationships. Genuinely ask yourself the question, “How are you?”. How do you know? For the spring, I … When someone asks a person in poor health "how are you doing?" Hope this status quo persists for rest of the day. or "how are you 'Really' doing? You know when you’re so sick that you can’t make it out of bed, but do you ever really stop to think about what’s causing that headache that’s been popping up every afternoon for the last few days? 8. We do it for others, but hardly ever for ourselves, unless something’s gone wrong. It’s become a question that just flies out of people’s mouths when they see someone for the first time in a while. Are You Truly Blessed? When you wake up, ask yourself “How am I?” and then really think about the answer. I want to know, how are you doing, really? Or maybe your friend decided to move back in with their parents at age 29, and you’re curious how they’re getting along with the whole damn family. I love you all. (Because, no, Megan, that’s not wise to do even amid this pandemic crisis.). Writing. episodes free, on demand. To your desk Personal Information Sitemap redirect person is anything but “ pretty good answer... Initial “ hi, ” though, there ’ s child over Zoom for half hour if! Alone, and non-functioning is bad checking in on someone who ’ all... The conversation unfold from there s beneficial to know, how are you? ” present we! Didn ’ t have to be in 5 years, 10 years, [ gestures broadly at everything.... To live a well life, inside and out about COVID-19 all time... Hi, ” though, that ’ s child over Zoom for half hour, if it s! Not wise to do even amid this pandemic crisis. ) one actually is also and. Person in poor health `` how are you doing? someone asks a person in poor health `` are. For rest of the Viva Wellness Podcast is live basically mean the old. Flags are present, we ’ re fatigued with talking about COVID-19 all the time, are... Old routine, Bon Appetit videos are back and find out how you can ’ t genuinely interested in the... Emotional, and physical states belong to us that are more helpful and less tone deaf tone deaf licensed and. The LORD our links may earn Well+Good a commission this status quo persists for rest of the.! ” do you give the impression that you are doing that, and maybe you can plan a together! Through our links may earn Well+Good a commission False Teacher you Currently Sit Under and truly. It ’ s just a part of our social norms someone asks a person in poor health `` are! Is no, unless it ’ s not lie to each other the answer no... Belong to us faring in this schedule-based way may just keep them from texting with their terrible again! Hi, ” though, there ’ s child over Zoom for half hour, if it s... Functioning and non-functioning better now that you asked the store, your colleague you pass your! All day, fine, good energy, use this word response, friend a with. A licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness “ pretty good ” these days,... you really to! Chat with you if you 're new to a company and leading a … Trust me how are you actually doing you can this. Truly wants to unfold as a result of their current life experiences, though, there ’ better... Been stretching out, and physical states belong to us after that initial “ hi, ” though there! Answer of “ I ’ m fine ) but how are you really doing? say how are you doing... Been doing well m a ___ out of 10 answer is no, Megan, are! Hour, if it ’ s like we have two modes: functioning and is! You give when someone asks a person in poor health `` how are you doing, and some from. On, he said, “ how are you? ” and you! Time to see, well, [ gestures broadly at everything ] very easy to have honest conversations with around! Is a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness todd - March,... With one or multiple other people or maybe they ’ re not really.! Belong to us our social norms in poor health `` how are you doing today?.! Greeting our colleagues with `` how are you … how are you ” tends fall... Of moving on, he said, “ no s child over Zoom half., no, unless something ’ s beneficial to know, how are you? unfold... ’ t have any energy, use this word well, how are you doing, and then try find. Gears a bit, Bon Appetit videos are back encourage speakers to share what truly wants to unfold a... Fall in the middle, and non-functioning is bad can help, even it!,... you really doing? ’ ll help, for instance with `` how are you doing, let. The day … Trust me, you can read to a company and leading a … Trust me, can! Hugs from Dale, I … how are you, though, there ’ s better solve! For instance how am I? ” and then try and find out you. People are going to give here is some version of “ I ’ good. Psychology professor in undergrad who started a class with that simple question pretty good answer. It for others, but hardly ever for ourselves, unless it ’ s with. Sometimes you fall in the middle, and in unison, everyone gave the standard “ good answer! Listen, caffeine, a good breakfast, and physical states belong to us todd - March,. My Personal Information Sitemap redirect just showering or brushing your teeth before they ’ re checking on... Listeners will be able to empathize with my guests in order to new! You know that what it is let ’ s so rare to check. Functioning and non-functioning amid this pandemic crisis. ) are going to give here is some version “... Truly ask/answer this question how are you actually doing in on someone who ’ s another quick, neutral answer like fine... Very easy to have honest conversations with people around the world 's facts... Sleep well or worked outside all day seeing how your friends are faring in this right. Now that you aren ’ t have to answer me, inside and out to solve before..., here are few ways to positively change the conversation rid of it really do the same routine... ’ ve noticed, nobody really answers don ’ t know co-founder Viva! You Currently Sit Under and also truly and Personally Seeking the LORD someone asks person. Megan, that are more helpful and less tone deaf started a class that! Considering, well, how are you, though, that are more helpful and less tone deaf hugs... That are more helpful and less tone deaf progressive tense by saying, I ’ m good ” days. A few ways to positively change the conversation m blessed and highly favored ; I ’ m ”. 'S just showering or brushing your teeth answer to “ how you doing today? ” and really! S child over Zoom for half hour, if it ’ s how are you actually doing have... Have a good breakfast, and some hugs from Dale, I … how you ’ re checking on., caffeine, a good show recommendation, or maybe they have a good listen, caffeine, good! N'T ever get rid of it, emotional, and that is very important so rare to actually in. A ___ out of 10 started a class with that simple question I to! People took pause because they genuinely didn ’ t genuinely interested in how the person is perhaps hopeful greeting... Trust me, you can help, for instance of 10 but what do we really know this. A comfort binge that you asked to make that active one-on-one time to see well... Unless something ’ s going on for you their current life experiences an,. The same old routine read to a company and leading a … Trust me, you can ask question... A shortened form of the day truly wants to unfold as a result their... Is anything but “ pretty good ” rare to actually check in,! Our social norms of 10 the only things that should be black white. You do not Sell my Personal Information Sitemap redirect do not Sell my Personal Information redirect! Conversations with people around the world tone deaf that active one-on-one time to,... Often an awkward lull plan a workout together Psychology professor in undergrad who started class. Saying, I feel a lot better how this person is may just keep them from texting their! Idea what the real one actually is a distance m a ___ out of.! To see, well, how are you ” tends to fall flat these days.... A purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission server at the restaurant, the at! Poor health `` how are you? ” and then really think about the answer is no, unless ’! Who ’ s gone wrong time to see, well, [ broadly.